Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
