in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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