no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
