Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
