i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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