Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
you inspire me to be a worse person
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
