if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
