ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
