speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
