He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
did you just send me my own nude
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
