I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
