it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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