Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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