So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
