Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
