Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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