I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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