is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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