Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I could have mohawked her pubes.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
