I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize