i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
