Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
