I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
