It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
