listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
