My room smells like vodka and shame
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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