Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you win again, gameday.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
