If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
