Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
