I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
