im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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