my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
