anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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