I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
thus making me awesome and them whores
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
