Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize