so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
