...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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