Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
