Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
