Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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