Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I wish there were birth control emojis
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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