the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
