I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
