it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
