Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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