I'm really into asian looking animals
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Apparently you make a good broom.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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