too bad you live with your parents still
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
