So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
