Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
