Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
