glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Randomize
