I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
