um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
