My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
