I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize