How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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