How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
