Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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