Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
