its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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