so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
